Attitude

For my 24th birthday, I was able to 'con' my roommates and friends to take me out to wherever they wanted to go, knowing that they'd want to go to a "gentlemen's" club. So, after a very nice steak dinner and hitting a piano bar (where everyone had some laughs at my expense, even though it didn't bother me) we hit one of the classier Gentleman's Clubs in town.

Well, I thought it was a pretty classy place, considering that the main attractions are naked women. It had a very nice bar with just about any alcohol or tobacco product you could want, and the decoration was mild and tasteful. Very functional too, but that's not important.

So they plop us down right in the center (we were a big group for the place, with 6 or so 'gentlemen') with a good view of the stage, and just about everything else. I was pretty content sitting in the overstuffed chair, sipping a whisky, bullshitting with my buds, and admiring some of the most beautiful scenery on the planet.

Next thing I know, one of the girls asks if she can have a seat. Since I was pretty relaxed at this point (alcohol either relaxes me or depresses me, and I'd been having a great time) I immediately say, "Sure!" Most of the time, if a girl approaches me that I find somewhat attractive, I get tongue-tied and stupid. I turn into a bumbling idiot around girls that are possibly 'available' and attractive. So next thing I know, there's a pretty, cute, and fairly busty brunette's sitting in my lap, smiling and chatting with me.

Since I'm an incel, this is the closest I'd ever been to a naked woman. Heck, it was the only time I'd even been around a naked woman. I even managed to do a little 'small talk', probably because she was willing to take my clumsiness. Then out of nowhere she starts a lap dance, since, I'm guessing, I couldn't see my friends flash her a $20. For me, this was the closest thing to sex I'd ever had; heck, I've never even kissed a girl! Even better was that she was into it; she looked like she was enjoying it to. That 3 minute dance seemed to last forever. I got a little too into though; I couldn't keep my hands latched onto the armrests. One of the 'bouncers' had a word with me, and I managed to restrain myself for the rest of the night.

Here's the point of all this. Since I'm an observant, analytical guy, I watched everything going on around me, and noticed a few things. First of all, there are two kinds of sexy.

The most obvious one is appearance. Some of those girls were really hot, and some didn't do anything for me, even wearing a thong over their birthday suit. But I found out there's another kind of sexy, and it's all attitude.

It's hard to put a finger on what a sexy attitude is, but I'll give it a shot. The first girl definitely had a sexy attitude, since she was paying attention to what I was doing, and would say things or do things to reflect it. She also smiled a lot. Some other girls were just doing a job, and seemed to be looking for the next dance more than paying attention to the one they were in.

This sexy attitude wasn't just in how they'd give a lap dance though. It also came through in their conversation. You can tell when someone is really listening to you, and when they're just on 'automatic', not really thinking about what they're saying, or meaning it. The other thing I discovered is that a sexy attitude is a hell of a lot more attractive than someone that's just physically sexy.

Some of the sexiest girls there were girls that I wouldn't give a second glance if I saw them across the street. They genuinely seemed to be enjoying themselves, and usually had a real smile on their face, the kind of smile where you smile with your eyes. Some girls eyes practically sparkled, and it definitely wasn't the subdued lighting that did it.

So, all you ladies out there, keep the following in mind. A girl that is smiling and sincere is very attractive. If you want to try picking a guy up, smile and give him an honest compliment. He'll probably melt right away. I know I would. Then put your entire effort into listening; don't worry about what you're going to say next. If he says something that leaves you speechless, or conversation just dies into an uncomfortable silence, say, "I don't know what to say!"